Giving myself some Grace

Lately I've been feeling a little hard on myself. I know that its pretty normal, especially for busy mamas with little ones. Once one lie gets in my head the rest just flood in and it can really get me down. The other day those lies got a hold of me and I was feeling pretty attacked. I have been getting a lot out of my Beth Moore Bible study in James and I feel like maybe someone isn't too happy about it.

It started late at Thursday night when I couldn't sleep and kept me up for a few restless hours.  I woke up exhausted and discouraged.  I prayed and sent a quick text to a dear friend asking for prayer and put on my big girl shoes and started my day determined not to let the lies take over. It wasn't easy. I might have cried a few tears but was able to get both Carter and Ethan down for their 2nd (yes, 2nd) nap of the day and took a long hot shower. I was able to get my Bible study done and once the little guys were awake I had a whole new attitude.

One of the things that I looked at really hard was if there was something in my busy life that I should give up, even if its a good thing. We don't always have to give up bad things. Sometimes we have to give up the good. One of my favorite Christian mom blogger out there did a few posts about the giving up the good, in order to have the best. This is hard to do sometimes! Just because something is good in your life doesn't mean its the best. God wants us to give up the good to Him, so He can give us better. Better than we can imagine.

After some prayer and thinking I came to the conclusion that I will be giving up my Y membership and weekly workout. I know this might sound silly to some but its a big deal for me. I really really want to get in shape. Having 3 babies has not been kind on my body and I've also been lazy about eating right and its catching up to me. I try desperately to get to the gym 2-3 times a week but it usually ends up being once. The other 2 days are usually replaced by much needed stay at home days or time with friends. Its not that I don't enjoy working out. Its just a lot of work to get the kids out the door, dropped off at the child care i.e. pull crying Carter off my leg for the millionth time, and work out, then shower and pick them up and go home. Whew. I wish wish wish I could be like those women who can wake up at 6 am, and go to the gym (or work out at home) before the rest of the family is awake. This though, will most likely never be me. And I have to be okay with that. I have to find what works for me. And for this time in my life, I think I have to give myself a little grace and not put so much pressure on myself to get to the gym 3 times a week with 2 kids in tow. I need to be okay that I may not lose the 30-40 lbs I need to lose right now. Next year it will be just Ethan and me at home. Maybe then I'll have more time in my schedule to work out. Until then I need to eat healthier and find more creative ways to incorporate exercise in my schedule. I'm going to look into seeing if I can do some exercise videos or something here at home. This will not only save time but also money. I can't justify $55 a month anymore. We need that extra money for groceries for my growing boys!

I feel a sense of relief in my decision. I know that Carter will be a happy camper! ha! I will miss my workouts but I think it will be good. I'm giving up the good. Looking forward to the best! More time with my little guys still at home and less guilt in my head. Nothing could be better!

These Dudes...they are the best!